Whenever I’m talking about myself
I always start with ‘Lately, I’ve-‘,
and lately, I’ve been thinking that
if I keep saying lately about the same things
maybe they’re not so ‘lately’ after all?
Maybe these are the way things are.
Maybe that’s okay?
In fact, I reckon it is okay,
change doesn’t have to mean bad.
That’s just the answer my mental math
has been coming up with.
I need to go back over my workings,
be more patient,
use a calculator to check things over.
I might not always like the outcome:
things may in fact be as bad as I thought.
The answer might be
I am struggling more than I used to but
life gives you a series of challenges,
you give the responses:
‘today has been a bad day,
lately I’ve been stressed. And tired.
It’s probably a one off though’.
‘yes, today has been a bad day,
yesterday didn’t feel much better,
I’ve been stressed and tired lately.
I need to sort this out’.
I’m not saying that it’s fool proof,
I’m not saying it will always work.
If it works once,
if it teaches me to give myself a break every so often,
it might well be worth it.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the way
I keep saying ‘lately I’ve-‘
and lately I’ve been working out what that means,
I think I found an answer.
Lately, I’ve been accepting things
the way they are and working through them,
but I haven’t stopped saying ‘lately’ lately.
-A.Webb (first draft)