Smash (06/30)

He threw the words at me from across the room.

You should’ve heard the sound they made as they

bounced                              off the

wall

and s           a                 t         r            d  on the

h               t            e        e

floor.

I picked them up,

took them in my arms and

tried to make sense of the mess he’d made.

I didn’t know one person could be so angry,

I didn’t know what I’d done.

He had spat the message out so quickly

I couldn’t process it fast enough.

I sorted through the mess,

picking out the important words,

the ones that sounded like him.

How       Why                       When

could         did                are                         dare

you        us                                           we

such       make                     try          screw up

hate       a                              the

idiot                       failure                   fool                        fuck

of me?                 up?

I just stared for a while, words still in hand,

the silence usually felt more comfortable.

I don’t know why it got to me so much this time,

it wasn’t anything unusual.

It wasn’t as bad as it had been either.

‘Just another day at the office’ I told myself.

 

I look back on it now, having realised that

making a home shouldn’t feel like work.

-A.Webb (first draft)

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