I try to go for a drive to clear my mind.
Something is wrong – I can feel it hanging over me:
an overbearing mother forcing me into the same old coat
that I don’t like, that doesn’t fit me properly anymore,
‘IT’S NOT EVEN MY STYLE ANYMORE MUM!
That’s the old me!!’
That analogy might be a bit heavy handed but it’s accurate:
today I woke up as me trying to put old me on against my better judgment.
It’s not that I don’t want old me back
it’s more that our relationship has always been rocky,
he steered me towards… questionable decisions,
bad habits, unreliable friendships.
The road was never all that smooth with him,
it’s not perfect now my any means,
at least there’s no huge, looming pot holes for me to get stuck in though.
I want to stay on this road,
I don’t need those unwieldy country roads anymore.
So, how do I get back on track?
How do I shut up the back-seat driver?
I pull over into a lay-by and suggest we go for a walk and chat
‘listen, I know you’ve been here longer than me,
I know you’re just trying to help but I’m on a new route now.
I need to focus on that so buckle up, I hope you enjoy the ride
but now it’s my turn to drive’.
-A.Webb (first draft)